..and i am no cindrella

From watching movies with fairy tale endings,

I grew up wishing that I'll have my own too

With a prince and a carriage that will sweep me off my feet

He'll take me to his castle where we'll live

Happily Ever After

At sixteen, I started liking a guy (he was a classmate of mine)

We started hanging out everyday after school

And I never felt so good when he said those three little magic words

Then one day we shared a kiss and I thought...

Here comes my fairy tale coming out to life

Everything's just perfect when I have him by my side

And when he said forever, I felt so overjoyed

I felt like I'm on cloud nine... 

till one day

My Romeo, he started courting other Juliets

Left me for a Snow White oh,( a lot of Snow whites)

That when I learned forever, only lasts three years tops

The spark was gone he said when he left, that's his goodbye

And like every other girl that's left behind...

I cried

And so years passed and I've stopped crying

Lost my hope, there exists happy endings..

I, he & Rains

Jo barse sapne boond boond

Nainon ko moond moond

Kaise main chaloon, dekh na sakoon

Anjaane raastein... lalalala...

[humming continues....]

wow..its rainning.. i so much love rains...while he still driving the car with a serious face....

hey hey [tickling & teasing to him]

STOP IT! I am driving, please let me drive...

argghhh!! i hate when people talk to that way..

anyway keeping my mind calm i asked him so dont you love rains?

"NO, I Dont" he replied..

huh.

.

ignoring him and is rude reply i continued humming... and enjoying every single drop of rain falling over the car's window sill.. but he doesn't loves rains and how can that be.. i mean rains are so damn beautiful how can some1 not love rains..? this was continuosly bothering me and finally breaking down the silence i asked him,

"fine, if you dont love rains but dont you think rains are the most beutiful thing on this mother land??"

"..HELLO

i asked you something at least say something...[gush! i hate people with attitude]

still no reply..

dodo stop! STOP THE CAR & ANSWER MY QUESTION 1st.. I AM NOT DUMB TO T ALK ALONE.. I AM TALKING TO YOU.."

rrgghh ...THE CAR STOPS !!!!!!!!

with eyes full of anger he turns around and yells on me, "will you please stop questioning and let me drive?"

with a heavy lump in my throat and tears in my eyes i said, "ok.."and decide to be quite till the time he cares to talk to me...

sometime later...

we reached our destination...

WOW !!! this place is beautiful.. o! ya we reached at some place near by Mahableshwar

where i picturesied a beautiful pond with clean water for a change.. trees around and on them small tree houses, cherry on the top it was sunset time and i have had never seen such a beautiful place before ( at least with him ;) )

we got down of my car..

ahhh!! SIGH**

the sun was mixing its beautiful vibrant color with the clouds..it was getting a bit cloudy..near the pond i could find a huge stone and i decided to watch the sunset frm there as i could even rest my bumps on them... the climate was so awesome.. ignoring the fact he is right beside me, i was busy humming a song's lyrics [not that am good at it but i love humming...]and adoring the nature...

slowly the sun rested !! and it started raining.. i ran towards the car but didnt find me behind me and when i looked behind again neatly i saw, he was still sitting on the stone..

i called his name loudly.. but no response

then finally, i went back to him and said, " lets get into the car.. we are getting wet.."

he looked at me and smiled.

i exclaimed, "what"

he grabbed my hand and pulled me towards him and made me sit next to him..

i was all blank.. i donno what he was upto...

we both kept quite and let our silence speak and our silence talks were having the background music of the rains splashing itself on the land..awww..!! totally romantic!

anyway coming back to the point, after we both were drenched in the rains from tip to toe...

he broke the golden silence..

"i dont love rains" he said.

with a long "hmmmmmmmmmmmmm,i know.." i said..

he took my hand in his hands and looking into my eyes he said,

"look i dont love rains and nor i want to love them.. cause i love you.. and i dont want this love to b shared by anything or to anyone, not even the rains.."

I "ahh"

he.."wait, let me complete..."

I "hmmmm.."

"I dont find rains to be the most beautiful thing cause for me the most beautiful thing is only and only your smile.. there is nothing in this world that touches my heart but your beautiful smile.."

i was starstruck... no one had ever made me feel so specially.. not that i didnt had any some1 special before him but none of them had given me tears and a smile together..

i said nothing but hugged him tightly and asked him if he can stop this moment here... but then we know its not like movies that such momenst long last as much as you want...

it was getting darker and then we left..

P.S.

you just never know when where and how you will fall in love with the same person over and over again..

when you meet your DEATH .. !!!!!!!!

when u meet your death...

like every1s life my life have has been through loads of ups and down..

and of course like every ordinary human i too have been thinking of just ending my life and walking away from

all the pains and odds of life but yes they are just thoughts... i never really tried ending my life..

uhmmm, "blogger's till last week i never really valued my life.."

for me my life was just a game which i was playing and was OK if i lost it.. cause i actually didn't know

the meaning of losing on to life..

life was bad when i failed in my history papers..

life sucked when i went through a heart break.. life was getting worst when i was losing onto my loved ones..

life got more horrible when my trust was broken by my near and dear ones.. life sinked in the depression every time

i went through even a small pain...

from the time i matured i.e. when i left school, i just didn't leave school but with that i left many friends or maybe they left me..

my junior college was all about 1st love...

hugs... caring & sharing ..and then a heart ache...

my 1st love broke my heart .. he was a hero for me, he made me live my dreams,

made me learn to love but he forgot to show little trust on me,

the only thing which made us grow apart was that he forgot that i was a learner and i was still learning and was not that

matured the way he was... he had went through the pace called teenage while i was still going...

then came a time where i was done with my 12th and it was the time where i had to leave my all buddies behind

and enter into a new career new life & new college & new friends..

and to put light on my new life, it didn't welcome me that great..

cause i met the most horrible pace of my life, for all the teenager blogger's i would say its even worst then a

heartbreak..

severe migraine was detected...

late night attacks, severe pain, yelling my lungs out, staying awake in pain whole night, going to every possible

hospital just to feel little better... but nothing goes against god's wish.. he just didn't wanted me to be OK that

time..

time & health was getting worst, and all the memories got erased from my mind... all i could remember

was my identity and my family..

i donno what my family and friends were going through at that time but all i was know that i wanted to get fine and better..

i was in pain, injections, different tests, every time a new doctor,

hospitals.. it all sucked.. i wanted to get out of the ICU and breath the fresh air..

slowly time got better so did my health..

in above all the bad moments, every moment all i wanted was to end my life forever... cause i had too much of pain [from

my point of view] i found death more calming then going through such a terrible pain.. every little thing was painful

when i was sad and i made it even worse by listening to sad songs & thinking and talking about that over

and over again..

but blogger's trust me, i was stupid and silly.. i didn't value life, life was never beautiful for me till i met my death...

GOA !!!!!!

fun fun and fun.. that's all GOA is about...

like every other person i too was having the fun and enjoying my life to the fullest..

parties beaches hots guys shopping boozing clicking pictures Churches & WATER SPORTS..

it was a bright early sunny morning in GOA.. where me and my cousin pooja was all set for a a jet ski ride

from the sea shore to the the middle of the sea where we then got down

on a huge ship and lined up in a Que for para-sealing...

all excited and little scared.. but was knowing deep down this craziness is going to lead both

of us to a unforgettable memory and wild fun..

and as i said it was really crazy fun ride ad we made up to an amazing unforgettable memory...

but blogger's life can just get worst in a moment of eye blink...

within a eye blink i was standing in front of my death...

my life my faith my hopes everything was crumbling down in front of my eyes..

while getting down from the huge ship deck which was in middle of the deep sea to the jet ski,

i slipped away and i was in deep water..

while my younger cousin pooja was on the jet ski

who was scared and was in tears, who was yelling to me that swim swim, nothings gonna go wrong.. i am here

but all this was like a back ground music which i was ignoring..and to the horror i cant swim..

all i was knowing was i am in deep sea, my face is inside the salty water and i am just unable to breath

.. people around was trying their level best to pull me up but the force of water waves was making

them lose on to my hands... they were just unable to pull me on the deck..

i closed my eyes and could see a flash back of all the most beautiful memories of my life,

i could see my mom dad brother... and i wanted to tell them i love them and i want to live with them..

i love them and i don't want to go away... after sometime i went blank...i was losing all the hopes..

and i thought now its the time where i

just have to go away from all forever... i was in tears ..

i was crying out for help...i wanted to live... i didn't want the death...that moment i realized the beauty

and value of my life... i prayed to god and promised him that i ll value my life, live every moment for people

whom i love...and then i realised i was floating and not drowning and that time it came in my mind i had a life

jacket on me :D

all the blogger's, teenagers, Friends, family and people around.... though this was funny incident but it taught me a lot..

life is beautiful if you chose to see it that way..

life is more guys, live love and enjoy it...

it wont even a take a eye blink when life ll take away everything from you and you would that time wanting it to

live...

i was lucky to have my life jacket on...but guys even a life jacket would be useless if you don't realize the

value of life in time... before its too late... love the loved ones...

understand the beauty of life... remember whatever life ll give u today its going to take away tomorrow so

better have it and love it instead of crying tomorrow...

life is beautiful, love it !

so what if you fall in love all over again ..?

its very true the world outside is big bad world.. and there's no1 u can actually trust and depend on but you know, you have to take chance.. you have to open up to some1 to keep your heart light.. when you speak out things you come over them.. you learn to live other things and other feelings too. if you suppress your feelings inside you just then relive the same old feelings emotions and nothing new or different..

take risk to fall in love again.. to get hurt.. to cry your lungs out.. let your trust be broken again.. but just close your eyes once and do that everything that we humans are here to do..

love.. express... cry.. share.. care.. let there be some1 that special.. open your heart once again..

you know its now or its never..

its hard to get over ex/ 1st love I know but thinking about the past don't stop yourself from having a relationship.. falling in love.. adoring some1.. skipping a heart beat for that 1 special person...there should be some1 in your mind before sleeping you want to dream about and after waking up you want to live with..

love gives you pain true but love is blind so it gives pain but we are not blind...before you know we are going to get hurt try and change things, they might just work out the other way..

take chances...

have that 1 person who ll be your 1st thought every morning.. and the best dream every night...

its beautiful to grow older when in love... its amazing to hold hands n write memories... true later its all a nightmare.. but there is always a night after a beautiful day...

i am not asking to live your past.. i am asking to make a new start again...

you know 1st love always breaks you.. but your 2Nd love makes you...

its nothing like u fall in love only once..

you can fall in love as many times, as many times u want too... its love..not any rule to follow that love only once...

are you happy from inside?? ask yourself.. if yes then great! if no then there is something missing in your life your missing not too..

maybe its love or that one special person or some1s a deep affection..

or a special touch of that one person.. a tight hug ! a small kiss...!! or maybe just

a love u whisper !

finally...

gush!!!

finally, harshi has her own blog..

harshi?? ooh! sorry..

harshada is harshi.. harshi is a gal in me who has kept the little greedy sweet innocent demanding little devil alive in me..

in this blog you will get to know me little closer & little better and that is what is going to keep us bonded to each other.. in this blog u ll find stupid insane sensitive love tears laughter relations life write ups almost about everything.. and i am sure any1 can relate those articles with their life cause i believe "Though we humans live a different life, carry a different heart .. WE STILL NEED THE SAME THING LOVE"

anyways guys stay tuned to know me more .. but its a request for all u readers & blogger out there Don't Try to Judge Me on my articles..

this is me harshi, logging out for now...

stay tuned!

love and luck..